The biggest takeaway here? Talk to your partner the whole way through about what feels good. 'What they would instead want is to have the penis or strap-on enter a little bit and then just stay there for 10, 20, 30 seconds until the sphincter can get used to that and relax, and then push it a little more and stay.' often that doesn’t feel good to the person being penetrated,' she says. 'People often think they need to make these small in and out movements. Other people's anuses may be slower to open up-in which case, you may want to adjust your penetration technique.
'I've known people who've never had anything up their asses and on the first time things go up right away.' 'There's so much individual variability in terms of how tight people are,' Vrangalova says. It's hard to predict how long it'll take to get there. Then, if the receiving partner is comfortable, you can enter with your penis. Then go in with a finger or a very small butt plug, followed by two fingers or a larger toy. Consider starting with some rimming, or simply pressing on the anal area.
